How to be strong in spirit. Strength may differ
When asked about strong people, what comes to mind are large, brutal men with big muscles and a determined look. But is this real strength? Is it possible to determine how strong people are by their appearance? Is it true that such people have a certain power of vision? Is it possible to develop this skill, or is it inherent from birth? In general, how do they gain strength? Next there will be strong advice for everyone who wants to become strong.
Who are strong people?
Strong people are those who have inner strength and determination. The key word is “internal”. A person’s strength is determined by the core that shapes his behavior. We are all familiar with situations when a less impressive, but more “spiritual” opponent won the conflict. Why is that? Yes, because appearance never reflects essence. Two-meter height and “slant fathoms in the shoulders” can be inherited by a coward, but a short, thin guy can have a real “lion’s heart.”
How to understand which of them is stronger? Most likely, if you need to move a sofa, the first one will be stronger, and if you stand back to back, defending yourself from hooligans, then the second one. Although, there are nuances - hooligans, most often, are also cowardly, so they can be impressed by two meters in height, and the conflict simply will not begin. But this is not so important, because street fights are only a small percentage of those life situations where the strength of people is manifested.
How to define a strong person?
Inner strength has specific manifestations that are easy to detect in its owner:
- Decisiveness in achieving goals;
- Active life position;
- The ability to say “no”;
- Philosophical attitude towards failures;
- Confidence in your strength;
- Ability to take responsibility;
- Life principles;
- Self-love and self-respect;
- Honesty towards yourself and others;
- The ability to overcome your fears.
This list may not convey all the qualities of strong people, but it helps to form basic ideas about them. The strength of a person is not only the strength of his gaze, the decisiveness in his voice or bravado. Strong people become so thanks to a number of their moral qualities.
What does the power of gaze give?
Eyes are the mirror of the soul. It is unlikely that anyone will argue with this statement. What we have inside is reflected in our eyes. The power of the gaze is manifested not only in confrontation. Girls are familiar with the power of the gaze of some men to arouse interest or attraction.
The power of a gaze can be calming, reassuring, attractive or even hypnotizing. But what is behind this power? Inner harmony and self-confidence. Is it possible to train the power of your gaze?, without deep work on yourself? I guess, yes. Many people know how to pretend to be stronger or more successful, but in reality they turn out to be ordinary liars. You don’t have to go far, just visit any nightclub and pay attention to the abundance of “alpha males” who have set up networks in the hope of seducing the next girl. In the morning, it’s difficult to even call many of them males, but in the evening their power of gaze is simply disarming.
There are several ways to develop the power of your gaze. First of all, increase your ability to make eye contact. What is needed for this? If you feel that you cannot “drill” someone with your gaze for a long time, but you don’t want to look away, you can look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. Visually, it is almost imperceptible, but the duration of eye contact increases.
Secondly, it would be nice master self-hypnosis. For example, some guy is walking along a dark alley, and a drunk company meets him. If he had been a master of sports in boxing, perhaps this would not have bothered him. And so, the threat of getting punched is quite real. His only chance is to prevent a fight. If he pulls his head into his shoulders or timidly looks at his feet, then the chances of being pestered will increase. What to do? Straighten your shoulders, imagine yourself as a master of all possible martial arts and walk as if you have a TT in your pocket, and a company of soldiers behind your back. The main thing is not to overdo it. Otherwise it will be like in the joke when a passerby took in air, visually enlarging his chest. Having passed two big men, he exhaled with relief and heard two similar exhalations from behind.
How to become a strong person?
In order for the power of the gaze to be not feigned, but real, you need to be confident in your own abilities and match your self-esteem. Otherwise, disappointment will become a calling card. But how can you become strong? It is worth paying attention to developing your character and willpower. Develop principles and stick to them.
Learn to say no those around you and not change your mind. Also, it is important to be active and proactive, and not be afraid of responsibility. It is advisable to devote time to your physical training. You don't have to become a professional athlete, but everyone can do it to be fit. Appearance, grooming, and cleanliness are no less important.
Also, for most adults, the main measure of success is their work achievements. To become more self-confident, they need to develop professionally. That is, everyone chooses for themselves what to be strong in.
Not less important attitude towards fear, especially before failures. Strong people do not give up, but draw conclusions from their mistakes and move on. They are more afraid of not trying than of failing.
The strength of the gaze depends on the inner strength. Strong people do not necessarily have impressive dimensions or a menacing appearance. Their power is contained in their “iron” character and rich inner world. There is no point in developing a “withering look” without real confidence in your capabilities. And for it to appear, you need to work on yourself, engage in self-improvement, and develop strong-willed qualities.
Strength of spirit allows us to achieve our goals, be strong, and endure difficulties and problems without complications. All successful people have a strong spirit. If your spirit is weak, you can develop it. His strength is trained just like his muscles.
Where is the spirit?
The spirit is above the head. I feel it in the area of the eighth chakra, about 30 cm above the top of the head, like an energy ball 30-40 cm in size, while its edges are blurry, not clear. I also feel his strength. Now I don’t remember after what practices I began to feel it, but this is not important for training it.
Why is fortitude needed?
When the spirit is trained, you have an inner “core”. You are no longer influenced by emotions and circumstances.
Other people subconsciously feel inner strength and they are pleased to communicate with a person who has a strong spirit; they are drawn to such a person and are more willing to fulfill his requests.
If, for example, you put 2 people in front of you, one of whom has a strong spirit, the other a weak one, and they both ask you for something, then you will try to distance yourself from the weak-spirited person, you will not want to do anything for him . But you will have a desire to help the strong. You won't understand why the current is happening, you will just feel
Therefore, those people who have a strong spirit achieve what they want many times faster. In addition to their strong will, many people want to help them and forgive their mistakes.
How is strength initially formed?
Strength of spirit is formed from childhood in the process of education. The upbringing of parents determines how emotionally strong a child will become.
Absolutely every person has their own talent. If it is blocked in childhood, the person becomes weaker. If a child is allowed to express himself, he gains strength.
Development of past lives. The soul and subtle elements that a newborn child has are transferred to him from the previous incarnation and have their own frequency and strength. The child already has fortitude, but it may not manifest itself if the upbringing is not correct.
Now we just have to understand how to become strong in spirit, because even with improper upbringing, this strength is trained.
Practice
I don’t know about you, but I am completely convinced that the phrase “The best man wins” will be relevant at all times. Only if previously everything came down to physical characteristics, then modern reality forces a person to improve on all fronts. Therefore, it is not surprising that people began to think more often about how to become stronger. Of course, we are talking about the context of the whole life...
First of all, you need to set yourself up for positive success. It is not enough to just think: “I want to become stronger.” You need to firmly and confidently say: “I will become stronger” and put as much emotion into this phrase as your heart is capable of. This kind of setup, despite its absurdity, allows you to achieve good results. Try it, just don't be a hack.
So, for those who want to know how to become a strong person, I have prepared 17 tips that can bring amazing results. They make up only a small fraction of the entire journey, but do you remember where the journey of a thousand miles begins? You can apply them all at once, or one at a time. You can implement one thing every month or every week. You can completely score. Remember that everything depends on your choice.
1. Form your view of things.
It is very important to learn to formulate your own thoughts on any issue. In our century, people themselves become slaves to other people's opinions, so it is very difficult to maintain individuality of thinking. I brought this point to the first place precisely because of its complexity. Learn to get rid of other people's opinions and form your own objective judgment. Perhaps the post “How to Find Freedom” will help you.
2. Do physical exercise.
It is also important to know how to become physically stronger. A truly strong person is strong not only in spirit and mind, but also in body. Therefore, it is very important to monitor your physical norm. You don't have to sign up for a gym. You can start running or doing morning exercises. Usually this is enough. If you want something more exciting, you can try some sports. I bet you'll like it.
3. Set goals.
It's important to know where you're going. The best guide is a dream or goal. But if a dream is something vague, then a goal is a real finishing line that can be torn off. In fact, setting and achieving goals brings unprecedented personal growth.
4. Survive falls.
Failure is the best mentor. Believe me, nothing brings as much life experience as falling. Only by experiencing real difficulties can we become stronger. Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of failures, just do what you set out to do. You can never truly taste success if it comes too easily. Treat falls like a good teacher who is genuinely interested in your knowledge.
5. Love yourself.
It is important to understand one thing - you have incredible potential hidden within you, thanks to which you can achieve anything you want. It doesn’t matter how grandiose your plans are. If you can truly love yourself, then no obstacles will prevent you from achieving your results.
6. Read more.
Did you know that our brain perceives information projected in the imagination as real? But, unlike animals, we are able to independently control the flow of our thoughts. This way we can lose many difficult situations that may arise in the future. Books are a real treasure trove of such situations. We literally play every scene live and draw the necessary conclusions. It's not for nothing that all successful people read a lot.
7. Learn to lose.
It is important to understand that you are responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter who exactly is to blame for the current situation. If this has somehow affected your life, YOU ARE TO BLAME. If a girl leaves you, don’t complain about her, but look for the reason in yourself. If you were fired from your job, don’t insult your boss, but become a better person. The only way.
8. Finally, start learning for real.
Education is actually a very useful thing. Many underestimate it, citing as an argument phrases like: “I will never need this.” Yes, we never use most of the knowledge we acquire at school or university, but it helps us develop. For example, geometry develops logical thinking very well and can teach you how to correctly reason your answer. By getting to know different areas of philosophy, we can find answers to some questions in the future.
9. Give free rein to your imagination.
In the most ordinary things, you can achieve unusual results if you use your imagination. Try doing everything with your left hand the next time you have to clean the house. It will turn out quite funny, and you will probably remember this cleaning for a long time. But fantasy can also be used in other situations, for example, you can learn a passage or formula and do push-ups at the same time. Oh yes, I already wrote about this in the material “How to develop memory.” Fantasy can open up unprecedented boundaries for you and find ways even in the most difficult situations.
10. Find something you love to do.
Nothing gives such a powerful impetus to action as doing something you love. These could be some true goals or just a hobby. Such activities will give you strength and make your heart beat joyfully in anticipation of future activities. It is much better if your favorite activity is your life goal. Together, such actions will not only make you stronger, but will bring real greatness.
11. Learn to say no.
And we are not just talking about some requests. It is very important to learn to focus on one thing, discarding all external factors. If you look at all the things you did today, you will probably notice that most of them do not have any practical benefit. They just destroy you. Give them up in favor of truly important things!
12. Give up unnecessary connections.
We often surround ourselves with people who negatively influence us. We feel awkward around them and want to leave the company as soon as possible. Or maybe we're just annoyed by their endless whining and complaining. Remember what they say: “Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are.” We often adopt our behavior from those around us, so it won’t be surprising if you soon start complaining too. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy spending time with and you will immediately notice the difference.
13. Start realizing your dreams.
You can become a truly strong person when you realize your dreams and help realize the dreams of others. Every day, devote at least five minutes to getting closer to your desires and then success is guaranteed to you.
14. Throw away all negativity.
This does not mean that you need to put on rose-colored glasses and rejoice at every leaf (although this option will also work). You just need to treat the world not as a firing line, but as a sea of opportunities that you can realize. If you constantly think about the negative, then sooner or later depression will begin to strangle you with its huge hands. Believe in a positive result and it will definitely come.
15. Ask for forgiveness.
Have you ever had situations that you still regret and constantly remember? Perhaps this is one of the effective ways to become stronger spiritually. Ask for forgiveness from everyone you've ever bullied. Especially if your conscience constantly reminds you of these cases. In this day and age, it is very rare to hear a sincere “Sorry,” so you can become a role model for other people.
16. Get rid of all debt.
You can't continue to grow stronger if you're saddled with debt. It's like ballast, constantly dragging you to the bottom. First, deal with your financial debts. Then follow through on all your promises. Only if nothing is holding you back can you move forward truly quickly.
17. Help others.
Just like that, without any hidden intentions. You can sign up to volunteer or help your neighbor-grandmother lift bags of groceries. You can even do something more: plant trees or organize a holiday. Such actions fill our lives with meaning and completely kill bad character traits.
The article could be supplemented with a bunch more points, but I decided to focus on these 17. If you have anything to add or ask, write in the comments.
People are conventionally divided into strong and weak. Who are strong people? Everyone must first define the concepts before wondering how to become a strong-willed person. If you do not understand what strength of spirit and character is, from your point of view, then you will not be able to develop the necessary qualities in yourself.
The online magazine site says that fortitude should be present in every person. Strength is usually attributed to the male half of humanity, but this is a wrong approach. Women, despite the fact that they should be weak, also have considerable spiritual strength. Since the rigid boundaries of what a woman should be were destroyed, everyone has the choice to decide for themselves what they should be.
Nature doesn't care what gender you are. Both men and women must be strong. If we imagine that humanity continues to live in prehistoric times, then in order to survive, everyone must take care of providing themselves with everything. Modern times are also somewhat similar to prehistoric times. Only people are no longer running after mammoths, but after banknotes that will pave the way for them to the things they want to possess.
Who is a strong man? How would you characterize this personality? Here is just a small list of qualities that can be considered strong:
- A person provides himself with what he needs.
- A person has his own point of view and defends it if he considers it correct for himself.
- A person may be afraid of something, but he does not allow his own fears to dictate how he behaves in frightening situations. In other words, a person develops courage when he is afraid, but continues to do what needs to be done.
- A person is able to help other people because he has the strength and resources necessary for this.
- A person does not give up and does not give up after encountering failures. He may be a little despondent, but does not allow him to become completely limp. Continues to act and move towards his goal.
We can say that a strong person is one who tries to live a happy life. He not only dreams about something, but also acts and achieves his goals. He improves his life in a direction that will please him. Here it is not necessary to talk about achieving success in the sense that is presented by society, unless by success we mean that a person sets exactly the goals that he needs and achieves them.
Why do people wonder how to become mentally strong? It turns out that for a happy life a person must have certain qualities that allow him not only to achieve his goals, but also to live the desired life and maintain it. Strong people are capable of achieving success, no matter what it takes. Strong people do not lose heart and continue to act, even if many obstacles arise along the way.
It should be said that spiritual strength is not an innate, but an acquired quality. Moreover, this quality is developed personally by the person, and not by strangers. Parents will not be able to develop fortitude in their child, but they can instill in him such a vision of the world and an attitude towards current events that the child will naturally display strong qualities of character.
To become a strong-willed person, you need to clearly define what you mean by strength. Psychologists mean by spiritual strength a balance between mental, intellectual and physical resources. In other words, a person knows his own capabilities well and uses them, and, if necessary, develops new skills and qualities if he considers this necessary to achieve his success.
What distinguishes strong and weak people?
- A strong person overcomes any difficulties and eliminates problems, while weak individuals need and seek help from others.
- A strong person does not give up and does not give up when difficulties arise. A weak individual turns a problem into a tragedy in order to further weaken himself, make him helpless and unhappy.
- A strong person has desires and goals, while a weak person has needs and wants.
- A strong person has his own opinion, which he is not afraid to defend and follow. A weak person is afraid to express his opinion and often changes it under the influence of the points of view of others.
- A strong person does not need help. Of course, he can take advantage of the resources and strength of those around him, especially if his resources and strength are not enough to complete some task, but he is not helpless. He solves all his problems himself, and communicates and cooperates with other people to achieve common benefits. A weak person usually cannot do anything on his own. He is defenseless, constantly in need of protection and support. A weak person does not use his resources, even if he has them. He prefers to use the help of others, who should not only help, but also do his work instead of him.
- A strong person goes beyond the generally accepted and stereotyped. He is able to control his emotions and actions. A weak person usually acts within the framework of patterns: he thinks in a pattern, acts in a pattern, does not control his manifestations and constantly finds excuses why he is not to blame.
- A strong person is afraid, but does not give in to his own fear. A weak person is not only afraid, but also allows his fear to dictate how he behaves.
A strong person more adequately perceives situations that may be unpleasant for him. All people have negative experiences. However, a strong personality turns his negative experiences into lessons that should teach him something, while a weak personality will lament, regret, cry and feel sorry for himself because of what happened.
How to become strong in spirit and character?
Strength of spirit and character is developed by a person personally. It is impossible to be born strong. However, it is quite possible to become a strong person. Moreover, you can develop strength at any age, and not just from childhood. It all depends on the strength of the desire to become strong and the willingness to make efforts to achieve what you want. By the way, this also allows a person to be strong.
So, tips:
- Surround yourself with people who are also strong and positive. By constantly being in their company, you will be able to develop the desired qualities in yourself.
- Don't be afraid of failures and problems. Any experience is positive because it enriches your knowledge and allows you to develop new skills. Don't be afraid of new situations, be afraid of not learning from your mistakes.
- Have a clear picture of yourself. A person who does not know easily succumbs to the opinions of people around him. If you don't know what kind of person you are, it's easy to tell you who you are. Moreover, people will say what is beneficial to them, what they see, often without noticing the true state of affairs. That is, even those around you will make mistakes about you.
- Create your own value system. Moreover, these values should be much more valuable and important for you than the opinions of other people, their attitude towards you and even the ability to deal with them.
- Have your opinion on any issue. This shows that you are at least somehow familiar with the world around you and have thought about this or that issue. If you don't know something, admit it, but don't let others dictate your opinion. Take the position: “I didn’t know this before. “I heard your opinion, now I’ll think about it, read information from other sources and make a decision on how to act/think in this situation.”
- Learn from your mistakes. You do them not to feel sorry for yourself later or to blame yourself for something, but to understand what you should not do, which will allow you to change your behavior.
- Don't be afraid of failures and troubles. Know how to respond adequately to what is unpleasant to you. Life won't always happen just what you want. Therefore, be able to endure any situation with dignity.
- Experience your fears, but don't let them control you.
- Prepare for negative outcomes of events. Of course, you shouldn't just think that something bad will happen. Just know that events may unfold in ways you don't like. Strive to achieve success, but don't get discouraged if you encounter negative consequences.
- Think about the future, but live more in the present life. The future is about dreams and expectations. And fate is not obliged to send you what you want. You need to be aware of where and how you live now and what you need to do to achieve your desired future.
- Take action. Weak people wait and are offended when their hopes are not met. A strong personality acts and creates his own future.
- Accept the imperfection of the world. You will always encounter both bad events and good ones, both the pleasant qualities of others and the unpleasant ones. You live in a world that already has certain characteristics. And if they don’t adapt to your desires and ideal ideas about the world, then that’s your problem.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Weak people always find flaws in themselves and rely on them to tell others about them and encourage them to act in their place. A strong person knows both his shortcomings and his strengths. He uses all his qualities, does not spare himself, but tries to make himself even stronger and more perfect.
Don't get stuck in the past. A person becomes weak when he stops living in the present, and remembers more and more about the past, laments what happened or misses what was pleasant to him. A strong person uses the past only as an experience that shows what not to do and what to achieve. To live happily, it is not necessary to remember a pleasant past. It is possible in the present tense to create circumstances that will please a person. But for this you need to work and make efforts, which weak people do not like so much.
How to ultimately become a strong person?
Strength of spirit is developed by a person if he works on it. Here you can use the following tips on how to ultimately become a strong person:
- Set goals and achieve them.
- Play sports to achieve certain results.
- Love yourself as you are.
- Overcome any troubles, do not lose heart.
- Have your own opinion on any question.
- Learn to lose in order to understand your mistakes and not repeat them again.
- Don't compare yourself to anyone and don't blame yourself for anything.
- Learn to say “no” to things that really don’t interest you and don’t suit you.
- Don't pay attention to the negativity. It should not affect your mood and vitality.
- Avoid people whose association does not bring you any benefit.
- Act and rely only on yourself.
- Know how to forgive other people, this will relieve you of emotions that may weigh on you.
- Help others, but only when you yourself consider it necessary. Help not because it is necessary, but because you think it is necessary to do it.
If you do something, don't expect to be praised or thanked for it. Do it because you can and consider it necessary to do it, and not in order to receive praise or the words “thank you.” Other people don't owe you anything just because you helped them. It was your decision to help them.
- Our theme is the power of the human spirit. In your line of work, you deal with people who have to be strong, because a weak person cannot win competitions. Can you first define what a spiritually strong person is?
I would divide all strong people into simply strong and spiritually strong. There are many strong people. For example, in sports. It's interesting to look at sports from this side. Any sport of the highest achievements is not a sport of weak people. Because a person needs to learn to endure. Endure the stress of training, endure a coach who sometimes insults you, endure a life system to which you need to give yourself completely every day, endure some kind of adversity, financial in particular. You are training, and your neighbors, comrades or friends are already successful in business, have good incomes, but after training you do not have the strength to go and do anything else. The only time left is to recover for the next workout. And so on from year to year. I believe that these people are courageous and purposeful, they have the will, they have patience, they can achieve great heights.
But these are not always spiritual people. Not all of them are morally stable. They may not know how to act in some difficult situations. In situations where they are faced with brute force, where some kind of aggression is shown against them, everything is clear. But what should you do if the aggression is directed against other people or some other unusual situation has occurred that does not directly concern you? They don't have ready-made solutions here.
- What do you mean by a spiritually strong person?
In my understanding, a spiritually strong person is a person who has an inner core - the will and readiness to sacrifice himself for the sake of his neighbor. I think this is the most important thing. When they say that a strong person is one who is not afraid of anything, I will never believe it. A man who is not afraid of anything is crazy. We have an instinct for self-preservation, given by God, and with the help of this instinct we survive, we understand, evaluate the situation, sometimes we don’t get into trouble, sometimes we take risks, but the instinct still works. That is, fear should always be in us.
- They say that a brave person is not one who is not afraid, but one who knows how to act despite fear.
Right. Let's say a situation arises when a person needs to make a decision for himself - to run away or sacrifice himself for the sake of loved ones. Two people make different decisions in this situation. One ran away, the other sacrificed himself. One remained intact, and the other was crippled, and, perhaps, also forced to deal with problems with the law.
Who did the right thing? We consider one of them a coward, the one who ran away. The other is a brave person. But they were both afraid. The ability to own and manage fear is very important.
Our soldiers who are fighting now and fought in our previous wars, which led our people to victories, for the most part were brave and strong-willed people. The person may not have known that he had such a core, he had simply not been in such a stressful situation before, but now it came, and he made a decision.
I also noticed this thing: the same person makes different decisions at different times in seemingly similar situations. Let’s say that one time he ran away, the next time this “coward” will defend himself and make very difficult decisions.
And he will be a brave man. Imagine, everything can change! Each of us can do brave things. Every. There are no weak people. There is a process of upbringing, of the environment around you, which either weakens you or lifts you up. But in each of us there is, in my opinion, a predisposition to great deeds. Some people need to stress less, others need to work on themselves more, but they too can become strong and courageous.
- Is self-sacrifice an innate human quality? Or, perhaps, there is a certain worldview, having accepted which, a person is more willing to undertake heroic deeds and sacrifice himself for the sake of others?
I repeat - each of us has it. How there is a soul in a person. The question is in upbringing, in the environment in which a person grew up - this is the first thing. The second is what environment he is in now. But the main thing is a person’s spiritual values, the principles by which he lives. I believe that it is natural for an Orthodox person to be courageous, because he has such protection that no one else has. He loves his homeland and his family, and knows that no matter what suffering awaits him, if he does everything according to his conscience, he will receive the treasure that we all strive for. The meaning is in our justification before our Creator and in a meal with Him, for the sake of this we can sacrifice anything. Now, if a person understands this, then everything else becomes miserable and insignificant... We must train ourselves. Just as we train our bodies, so must we train our souls, so that we always remember where we strive, where we are going.
Once I was in a nunnery. It was late and I was taken to the kitchen. It was the Borisoglebsky Anosinsky Monastery, not far from Moscow, Pavlovskaya Sloboda. An elderly nun, about sixty years old, sat me down at the table in the kitchen. I’m sitting, waiting for dinner, she’s working at the stove, she’s cooking something in a large saucepan. And suddenly she turns sharply to me and asks so demandingly: “Why do you live so shamelessly, why don’t you value your precious soul so much?”
I was dumbfounded. I asked the question: “What makes you think that we live so carelessly?” She says: “Look at the pan!” And opens the lid. Steam is coming from the pan. She tells me: "Look at the steam!" I looked, and she closed the lid on the pan and said: “Count how long you saw this steam.” I said: “Well, two seconds.”
She answers: “People exchange their spiritual life, the Kingdom of Heaven, for worldly life, and worldly life compared to eternity is this vapor, just two seconds. And you, in a moment that costs nothing, invest everything, give your time. And you exchange preparation for the future life for this emptiness. Well, how long will you live? A hundred years. This steam in two seconds is like a hundred years compared to eternity.”
Why did you remember? Because our whole life is vanity, a cockroach race. Each of us is called for something. The Lord will one day call each of us and ask. What have we done in life? What have we done that could justify us? It's getting scary.
In addition to extreme events, there are situations that happen to us every day, and we either run away from them, or accept spiritual battle, make some sacrifices. Most often, this concerns relationships with people. We are not currently involved in military battles, but there is spiritual warfare. Someone insulted us, and in response we begin to fight with this person. And perhaps we will even “win”, thinking that this will demonstrate our willpower. But in fact, we are weak - weak against criticism, we have no humility. I say this about myself in particular. Then you come to your senses and realize: “What have I done? What benefit have I brought to my soul today? No. I lost it, I lost money today.”
And we will be able to deal with little things successfully, and even in dangerous cases, when we are dealing with obvious aggression, we will emerge victorious if we look at things soberly and avoid brain paralysis.
I would say this: most people are not ready to make themselves strong on their own; they need mentors, unfortunately. That is, you need people who could force you to do what you don’t want. But in order for this to happen, you must consciously come and put yourself in their hands.
For example, an athlete is training in martial arts. What do we do during training? We prepare a person to think, reason, and make calm decisions, despite the fact that he is scared. The probability of getting injured is high, the fear of an opponent, especially a famous, titled one, whom you know well, is also high. Whoever can suppress such elemental fear will increase the likelihood that he will conduct his fight with dignity and with a minimum number of injuries. Whether he wins or loses is another matter.
- If a person does not have a healthy spiritual foundation, how can you help him overcome this fear?
You can win competitions with pride. But if the trainer has spiritual roots, I mean, first of all, if the person is Orthodox, such a trainer educates warriors in humility.
- That is, two fighters can fight: one uses pride, the other uses humility. And what are the chances for each of them?
Both can be equally strong. Maybe the proud one is stronger. When the fight starts, soon both of them will be in a borderline state, if we talk about our sport, where the fight goes on at a very high pace. Within a few minutes, people quickly get tired, lactic acid accumulates in them, their blood pressure drops, a lack of oxygen begins, as a result they become lethargic, dizzy, and almost lose consciousness. In this state, the one who has the highest strength of spirit and will wins. And, as a rule, the strength and will of a proud person turns out to be lower than that of a person who treats everything with faith.
I noticed that Orthodox warriors do not want to mutilate their opponents and show off in front of the public, they are different. They go out, I would say, to some extent test their will. They do not try to destroy their enemy. The same cannot be said about the proud man. On the contrary, he tries to inflict the maximum amount of injury, and gets pleasure from it. Can you imagine? Moreover, if he succeeds in fulfilling his plans, then he hears the exclamations of his colleagues shouting: “Finish him off! Break!".
Is it possible to say this to an Orthodox person? No. To the Orthodox you are talking about something else. And when the Orthodox come out, they pray and ask for God’s help. And so that this fight would benefit them. If he loses, he leaves humbly. He does not have such deep disappointment as the proud one.
There are many nuances, although it is impossible to say that all proud, non-spiritual people are weak. There are also strong ones.
- What can you say to that person who wants to become spiritually strong? I heard advice in your words: somehow think about eternity, the spiritual basis of your existence. Moreover, this may not necessarily be Orthodox spirituality; any religiosity or spiritual understanding of life helps to one degree or another?
Yes, I think this applies to everyone. People have different religions. Some people don’t believe in anything at all, they believe in a person, in themselves, but this is funny. However, there is something of the Creator in each of us. And the Lord gave this something to each of us in equal quantities. I mean the Divine soul that the Lord gave to each of us. And then who went which way...
Therefore, I believe that in order to be strong, a person must believe in something. And it's best that he believes in the right things.
As for Muslims, we can learn a lot from them. The Orthodox used to live to some extent as zealously as Muslims do in some Muslim countries today. There were foundations: they respected elders, parents, understood their responsibility to their family, their spouse, and if it did not exist yet, then they prepared for family life. The wife understood that her husband was responsible for her before the Creator, and was preparing to build her relationship with her future husband both as an assistant and as a subordinate. Today we see this hierarchy to a greater extent in Muslim families. We observe respect for elders.
You know, I was in Chechnya. We held international competitions in Gudermes in 2004, when the second Chechen campaign ended. So this is what I saw in the Chechen village. In every house they have a division into female and male halves. If an older person enters the room, everyone stands as a sign of respect for the elder. He gestures that everyone can sit down. The elder sits down and everyone talks. If someone older comes in, everyone gets up again. If, say, grandpa comes in, everyone there generally stands in line. The same respect is given to the eldest woman in the family. She has the right to enter men's territory. Also, a boy enters a room where there are girls (even if they are all related) - all the girls and women stand up.
What is this for? In order for young children to learn order and respect. There is continuity of traditions. There is order. When they grow up, some decisions will be implemented according to a certain structure, and even if someone makes the wrong decision, there are older people who can stop the person who has gone too far. Are we seeing this? No. And these are Muslims, these are people who live their lives among us, and we can learn from them and draw conclusions.
- If a person has been taught to respect others since childhood, does this also contribute to self-respect?
Undoubtedly. Individual will can be cultivated, but it is best to educate it in a society where everything is subject to internal laws. Unfortunately, over the past decades, the family has suffered greatly - and this is the main basis of the state. Everything is mixed up, everything is upside down. Now we men are protected by a woman. The man was grinding. The man has become like the woman in the old days; he doesn’t want to bear responsibility. Where is our will?
- The second thing I heard from you is attention to detail. It is very difficult to discipline yourself in small things. For this you need will, and little things build will. Through little things we slide down and climb up. Is it so?
It is impossible to build a strong-willed person without passing certain small tests. Speaking about our structure, in our Federation it is structured in such a way that a person who gets into our club is trained by coaches for a survival test. Let’s say they tore a child away from his family and took him to training. He is yours, for 1.5-2 hours, homemade, plush, caressed, not showing any masculinity. We begin the process, and then he understands that his personal success will depend on the success of the entire team. Suppose one or two people in the group violate the discipline that the coach is cultivating. Everyone, the whole group, will be punished. Once, twice, three times - then you look - everything is corrected. A person becomes ashamed in front of his comrades, with whom he is here O Tom is washing his face.
Plus there is physical “pumping”. The person is punished, but he is not beaten with sticks. He does push-ups, pumps his abs, and does other exercises that shape his body. But this creates a situation where he feels bad. The coach who punishes the group makes it difficult for the group to perform this exercise. Let's say everyone can do 20 push-ups, the coach will not ask you to do 10 push-ups, but will ask you to do 30 push-ups, so that the group tries the last 10 times. And then he will say that they were punished for such a violation and that they should be more careful in the future.
But this is not the first test. The first test is the first student belt that the child will take. The child must demonstrate technique, flexibility and physical fitness. The program creates conditions under which it is difficult, very difficult for a person to complete it entirely. But the coach must get him out of this crisis situation, not give him the opportunity to run away, become cowardly, break down, say: “That’s it, I won’t do it again, I don’t want to.” Having created this extreme situation for him, the coach helps him emerge victorious and pass this test. And then the person rises morally to a new level. He is already beginning to rethink himself, beginning to take shape. This is how they prepare both a five-year-old child and a forty-year-old man.
The coach does this at every training session: he creates a situation and pulls his student out of it. Of course, the coach does this to comprehend something, to understand. And then gradually (and there are many such tests), a person, overcoming some small obstacles, becomes a person. And as it develops, the coach must also develop it spiritually. This is extremely important: either he will grow up to be a strong, powerful, but proud person who will despise, in his opinion, weak people, or he will grow up to be strong, powerful, humble, able to achieve goals in life, but at the same time loving people. And I want to say that not everything works out for us in terms of spiritual education. We raise strong people, but not always spiritual ones.
- It is probably difficult for proud people to comply with the regime? Or does it still work? Still, passions prevail.
There are people who endure the regime for great goals. They have set a goal for themselves and are moving towards it. But they are driven not by humility, not by love for people, but by self-love and pride.
- It seems to me that a humble person is still stronger. For example, Fedor Emelianenko …
The humble are always stronger, always. In a borderline situation he is stronger. When the proud one lies without strength, the humble one will rise up and finish everything to the end, for the sake of his Motherland. The same Fedor Emelianenko does not perform in order to fill his wallet. He knows that the people are behind him, he knows that with his performance he is raising his homeland, his people. They will focus on him, understanding whose representative he is. It seems to me that this is how he understands his speeches, his mission on the international stage.
- This man is spiritually strong.
I think so
- Based on the theoretical part, can you give some practical advice to a person who feels not strong enough, to somehow encourage him?
The main thing is to love God. Remember about God, when you feel bad, remember, and the Lord will give you both thought and help. As they say, “without God there is no way to reach the threshold.” This is the very first wish.
A practical wish - do not allow brain paralysis in a difficult situation. There is no need to be afraid of current events. I saw something scary running out. Everything has turned to stone. Do not rush to react immediately to the situation. Don't twitch or show anything outwardly. The main thing is to extinguish the wave of fear that will grow. Calm down. Assess the situation. When the brain is cool, it produces good solutions. And then there will be a solution, and you will be able to jump over the fence, figuratively speaking, to do something else.
- How to learn this?
This, of course, needs to be developed in training. We have this test: if we have a serious fight, and one of the opponents shows that he is in pain, then the victory is taken away from him and given to another. That is, you cannot show that you are in pain and that it affects you: you will lose. It's the same in life. This can also be extrapolated to your life. You cannot show your inner feelings to anyone. They are only for you and the Almighty.
- Psychologists advise expressing your negative emotions after a stressful situation and not accumulating them within yourself.
If you are in a stressful situation, then you cannot show your inner state. Then go to your loved ones, communicate, show what your mood is. And now, while you are stressed, you cannot show your weakness. You can't show your thoughts.
I once saw a Japanese man who was beaten in a competition just terribly. It was such a brutal fight. Our fighter beat him mercilessly. The Japanese had no expression of emotion on his face. Three minutes passed. Our fighter is completely surprised that he could not defeat him. They gave us extra time. Our guy started to panic: no matter where he hits the Japanese, he doesn’t react, he doesn’t have any emotions on his face. As a result, the Japanese won because he was patient. Our fighter was very tired, and based on his activity at the end of the second time, or the third, I don’t remember, the Japanese were given the victory. True, then ours left on his own, and the Japanese were carried away. He was completely beaten, and, in my opinion, did not come out for the next fight. What does this mean? About the fact that a person was able to mobilize inside and not show his inner state to his opponent. By this he caused panic among the enemy and spiritually defeated him.
It's the same on the street. The aggressor begins to attack you and put psychological pressure on you. If you react calmly, the attacker collapses. He has questions about why you are reacting outside the box? He will figure out everything for you - that you have a gun or something else. And you will have time to think and make a decision in these seconds. The main thing is to be calm and not show what is happening inside. Try intelligently, calmly to convince, to stop the aggression. Don't be provocative. You must behave outwardly confidently, but at the same time show that you are not seeking conflict. If you show that you want aggression, but are afraid, this will provoke a further attack. There is no need to do this.
We teach our people to attack first in certain situations. When the enemy has a clear advantage in strength, numbers, when there is no way to leave, if the aggressor has a weapon, or in a situation where aggression occurs against your loved ones, women, children, you must attack. But without internal anger. If there are many attackers, you need to remove the main one in order to destroy the structure. They may move away from you on their own, seeing that you are a strong-willed person. You have to look into the eyes.
But we are talking about athletes. It is better, of course, to try not to create such situations; it is better to avoid them altogether.
- How to become such that you are able to look into the eyes of a person who is going to attack you without fear?
I have two types of experience in this regard: sports and spiritual. They are different. I talked about how a person is brought up through sports training. In the spiritual sphere, this is prayer, this is reading spiritual literature. You need to read the holy fathers, there you will find the answer for yourself to how Orthodox people acted in a given situation. Compared to what happened in ancient times, what deeds Christians performed, the situations that happen in our lives are such a trifle. From time immemorial, the Fathers of the Church give us an example of how to behave, with whom and how to communicate, and from whom to ask for help. I'm talking about God: if you ask Him, you always receive.
- If a person constantly does more exercises than he can, does that also help strengthen his will?
Well, yes. Let's say you can do three pull-ups today. Set yourself the task of adding one more every week. To add once, you need to approach this horizontal bar three times every day, try to do it once plus another half time. You need to set yourself difficult tasks and implement them systematically. To strengthen your will, you always need to set some goals that lead to constant improvement.
- It turns out that sport is the only way to develop willpower?
Well, this is the easiest and most accessible way. Moreover, it is a sport in which there is the maximum element of testing a person’s physical and moral endurance. In some species this is not visible. And there are types that, in my opinion, have a very strong influence on people educationally. I think karate is very suitable in this regard. I'm not just talking about those who become masters, but about ordinary people, even those with various illnesses, disabilities or mental trauma. Our sport is very successful in strengthening people.
But sport is sport, after all, I believe that spiritual life should be at its best in each of us. I’ll tell you another incident: I once came to visit my elder at the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. I tell him: “I’m tired of sports, there’s a lot to do, I don’t see any prospects.” And he asked me a question: “How many people do you have? Who are you raising?" At that time there were twenty thousand in the federation. I didn't understand the question. “You train a lot of people. You’re probably raising warriors, right?” - "Well, yes". - “So strong and strong, right?” - "Yes". - “What kind of warriors are you raising? Proudestov, perhaps? Who are you raising them for - for gangs? So that they live as selfish people? You must raise Orthodox warriors. Therefore, there is no blessing for you to leave sports, so go and work. Just as you attracted people to yourself, continue to guide them.”
And then I thought: who are we really educating? We must educate people who will benefit the state and society. And the proud - what will they bring to us? We must treat what we do with understanding. There must be great meaning in all our actions.
A distance (online) course helps to get rid of fears and anxieties: “ Overcoming fears and anxieties"
